Fear vs. Lust Part 2
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In this recent post, I wrote about the importance for me in an alternative FemDom relationship of the twin presences of fear and lust. From an IM chat, I had written,
"He knows She will mold and change, transform him- how, exactly, is where fear becomes present. As an aphrodisiac. And causes a delicious tension between fear and lust."
Conversely, I have found, in an alternative FemDom relationship, when my fear subsides, so, too, does a good deal of my lust for my Domina.
While, initially, I am attracted to a Woman for a variety of reasons, Her dominance adds to Her allure.
When, for whatever reason, Her dominance wanes and consistency of Her authority, at least in person, fails, then the resulting weakening of the FemDom flavor of our relationship causes my lust to also ebb.
I think, for me, at least, part of that loss of lust involves the loss of respect I have for my Mistress when She just drops FemDom rituals and behaviors.
For example, it is simply incomprehensible to me why, for the hundreds of meal occasions in private with XM over nearly six years in an on-again, off-again alternative FemDom lifestyle relationship, I was ever allowed to sit with Her at table, fully clothed, eating just like Her, from a plate.
Rather, the two most romantic and affecting private FemDom dinners in my memory were shared with MistressM and XM.
In the former case, She strictly enforced Her standing rule that meals involved me kneeling beside Her, naked, hands bound, being fed from Her utensils at Her whim. MistressM thrived on total control and care of Her male consort. She luxuriated in the knowledge that She personally fed me while I knelt, helpless, by Her side.
My most memorable dinner with XM was our last truly FemDom one, described here, while celebrating Christmas in January of this year. I wrote, in part,
"....She led me to dinner. It was among, if not the most intimate dinners I think XM and I have shared. She was alluringly booted and leather gloved, while I wore my slave suit, Her collar and leash.
After setting out Her holiday-motif plate and silverware, lighting a candle and seating XM, I knelt obediently beside Her on a pillow.
She proceeded to alternate eating with feeding me from Her fork and, periodically, directly from Her mouth.
When I was thirsty, I asked Her for a drink of water. She obligingly took several mouthfuls of water, then poured them into mine. It was a very deeply moving experience to be fed and watered in this manner."
Searingly-affecting rituals like this don't even have to be so extreme as the boot-sole feeding about which I wrote here, earlier this year.
Rather, simply consistently-applied FemDom protocols that reinforce my lust for my dominant Female Partner provide me with the impetus and trust to open myself to the fear that I secretly crave.
How could it be that in all the years I spent with XM, that last dinner was so unique? How could XM have allowed me to enter Her home on so many evenings and simply sit beside Her on a sofa, fully clothed, instead of stripping, crawling to Her and reverently kissing Her feet/shoes/boots, before taking my customary place on the floor beneath Her? How could She have not had collar and leash waiting for my neck, and constantly made me ask permission to use the toilet?
I don't ever want to top my Mistress from the bottom. But I do firmly believe that an alternative FemDom lifestyle relationship works best when the Woman knows how to operate Her male in such a manner as to most effectively get Her desired behaviors from him, while providing him with maximal submissive reinforcement and fulfillment.
That, to me, is how love is expressed in an alternative FemDom lifestyle relationship. And, make no mistake about it, I want to love, be in love with, my Mistress, and She with me.
I don't know what sorts of behaviors and rituals D might have designed and enforceed, if any, should She and I have developed a serious FemDom relationship. From Her questions and comments, and our discussions, I know that She knew I craved the control of my Mistress when with Her in person. And, from my comments and blog posts, that I need a firm, constantly intrusive and controlling Female authority when together with my Domina.
My purpose in this post is to reflect on, for myself, and my readers, my observations about how, once lust and fear are happily and effectively paired in the psyche of a male submissive in a FemDom relationship with his Mistress, it is imperative, to maintain a happy and mutually fulfilling alternative FemDom lifestyle relationship, that his Mistress assure, through Her consistent behaviors and actions, that this pairing is reinforced.
For once attained, if the mutually supporting emotions of lust for, and fear of his Mistress become detached in Her male submissive, the health of their FemDom relationship is probably in serious peril.
"He knows She will mold and change, transform him- how, exactly, is where fear becomes present. As an aphrodisiac. And causes a delicious tension between fear and lust."Conversely, I have found, in an alternative FemDom relationship, when my fear subsides, so, too, does a good deal of my lust for my Domina.
While, initially, I am attracted to a Woman for a variety of reasons, Her dominance adds to Her allure.
When, for whatever reason, Her dominance wanes and consistency of Her authority, at least in person, fails, then the resulting weakening of the FemDom flavor of our relationship causes my lust to also ebb.
I think, for me, at least, part of that loss of lust involves the loss of respect I have for my Mistress when She just drops FemDom rituals and behaviors.
For example, it is simply incomprehensible to me why, for the hundreds of meal occasions in private with XM over nearly six years in an on-again, off-again alternative FemDom lifestyle relationship, I was ever allowed to sit with Her at table, fully clothed, eating just like Her, from a plate.
Rather, the two most romantic and affecting private FemDom dinners in my memory were shared with MistressM and XM.
In the former case, She strictly enforced Her standing rule that meals involved me kneeling beside Her, naked, hands bound, being fed from Her utensils at Her whim. MistressM thrived on total control and care of Her male consort. She luxuriated in the knowledge that She personally fed me while I knelt, helpless, by Her side.
My most memorable dinner with XM was our last truly FemDom one, described here, while celebrating Christmas in January of this year. I wrote, in part,
"....She led me to dinner. It was among, if not the most intimate dinners I think XM and I have shared. She was alluringly booted and leather gloved, while I wore my slave suit, Her collar and leash.After setting out Her holiday-motif plate and silverware, lighting a candle and seating XM, I knelt obediently beside Her on a pillow.
She proceeded to alternate eating with feeding me from Her fork and, periodically, directly from Her mouth.
When I was thirsty, I asked Her for a drink of water. She obligingly took several mouthfuls of water, then poured them into mine. It was a very deeply moving experience to be fed and watered in this manner."
Searingly-affecting rituals like this don't even have to be so extreme as the boot-sole feeding about which I wrote here, earlier this year.
Rather, simply consistently-applied FemDom protocols that reinforce my lust for my dominant Female Partner provide me with the impetus and trust to open myself to the fear that I secretly crave.
How could it be that in all the years I spent with XM, that last dinner was so unique? How could XM have allowed me to enter Her home on so many evenings and simply sit beside Her on a sofa, fully clothed, instead of stripping, crawling to Her and reverently kissing Her feet/shoes/boots, before taking my customary place on the floor beneath Her? How could She have not had collar and leash waiting for my neck, and constantly made me ask permission to use the toilet?I don't ever want to top my Mistress from the bottom. But I do firmly believe that an alternative FemDom lifestyle relationship works best when the Woman knows how to operate Her male in such a manner as to most effectively get Her desired behaviors from him, while providing him with maximal submissive reinforcement and fulfillment.
That, to me, is how love is expressed in an alternative FemDom lifestyle relationship. And, make no mistake about it, I want to love, be in love with, my Mistress, and She with me.
I don't know what sorts of behaviors and rituals D might have designed and enforceed, if any, should She and I have developed a serious FemDom relationship. From Her questions and comments, and our discussions, I know that She knew I craved the control of my Mistress when with Her in person. And, from my comments and blog posts, that I need a firm, constantly intrusive and controlling Female authority when together with my Domina.My purpose in this post is to reflect on, for myself, and my readers, my observations about how, once lust and fear are happily and effectively paired in the psyche of a male submissive in a FemDom relationship with his Mistress, it is imperative, to maintain a happy and mutually fulfilling alternative FemDom lifestyle relationship, that his Mistress assure, through Her consistent behaviors and actions, that this pairing is reinforced.
For once attained, if the mutually supporting emotions of lust for, and fear of his Mistress become detached in Her male submissive, the health of their FemDom relationship is probably in serious peril.
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