Flake Factor - FetLife Fashion

I think FetLife has somehow let a Nigerian spammer/scammer slip through the cracks.

Witness:


Hi Sweetei.... How are you doing today hope fine, you may be surprise to recieve a letter from a total stranger like me. Anyway i was going through your profile and I like it then i decided to communicate with you.How about a relationship that will last forever? i will also like to relocate with you,it is my desire to go into a long relationship with you,let me quikly introduce myself to you. i'm walcot by name ,some people say l;m a easy going man and good looking but this is not everything,l have a heart,mind, and a special personality, l would love to date a charming,social,intelectual woman who knows what he wants,that will be a honest, sincere, thrusworthy and that as God fearing, i am single , l love the nature,classic music, table tennis l am very sensetive, language,travel,loves to do some workout, you have nothing to loose to know a loyal and caring lover who loves action in a realistic way......does it sound interesting? Keep in touch, but your heart is the most important.looking for a serious relationship..I shall be highy overwelmed to hear a gratifying reply from you soon..Thanks

Dear Walcot,

It may surprise you to learn that I am not surprised to be hearing from a stranger on the internet. It is more or less the point of these sites, you see, to bring people, with similar interests who otherwise would not know about each other, together.

I do think, however, that one should take care to avoid words like forever, relocate and possibly, God-fearing in initial emails and even before introductions are made. Indeed, were we to enter in this together forever relationship you pine for, one would assume that it would be a long one. Unless of course you have plans of strangling and then dismembering me and setting the bloodied body parts afloat in the East River. On that note, as a fervent watcher of Law & Order and CSI, it may be best to disperse said remains in both the East and Hudson Rivers to make it harder to discern my identity and to give crime lab technicians a juicy new case to solve. Were this your plan, then our relationship might be forever but not so very long.

So while your email is interesting, it is so in the way say the films like Zodiac, The Devils Rejects and Halloween are interesting in a macabre sort of way. Just so you know, since this fact seems to have eluded you, most women, myself included, will not want to consider you "relocating with" them solely on the basis of a weird and creepy email and a blank profile lacking even a photo. And since I have a feeling you may be located in Nigeria and not on the "sceptred isle" of merry old England, I can't say that I'd consider relocating to you. Plus I have been told I am a rather high maintenance type bitch and I don't think I'd find Nigerian nail salons up to my princessly standards.

I am not sure what you mean by saying you "love action in a realistic way." Since one of my great loves is knife play, and what with my dismemberment concerns and all, I am not so sure I'd like that action to be so very realistic.

Lastly, I am afraid that the heart that is so very important to you already belongs to another. Well actually two, no make that three, others. Oops. Never mind. I keep losing count.

Seems like thunderstorms are predicted for the next seven days in Lagos. Please take precautions not to stand out on a lone hill with a metal pole, the world is a richer place due to men like you with their extra "special personalities."

Here's hoping you will be both overwhelmed and gratified with my response.

Tess

Note to John Baku, perhaps you should check out Mr. Walcot yourself. I'm all for zero tolerance for the spammer/scammer type.


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