Tag

I rarely do tags. When I write I usually prefer to write about what I’m doing or feeling (or dreaming) or some dark, moody fiction (yes, I know it’s been awhile, please bear with me) but Phaedrous is so sweet how could I not?

So without further ado…

What was I doing ten years ago?

I was being a good mother and wife. I was still under the spell of new motherhood, lucky enough to have an easy child and parents who helped me out enormously with her care. We were moving from our cramped but beloved apartment in a century old house to a home of our own. I took up gardening, something I still love but don’t have the heart for since deer eat everything pretty and what they ignore the rabbits and ground hogs feast on. Now I settle for a few lush hanging and container plants on the patio and ornamental grasses and ferns in the gardens. I was at the same job then that I am now but I loved it at the time.

What are five things on your to-do list today?

1) Finish spanking story.

2) Edit and post review of Form 6 and Delight.

3) Write review of Vergenza.

4) Masturbate. Maybe even in the ladies room at work today. Thanks, B, for your direction the other day.

5) Decide whether or not it’s too brutal out, temperature to reach 100 blazing, sticky degrees, to walk fifteen blocks to therapy. I’m leaning heavily towards cancelling.

Snacks I enjoy.

I try not to snack. I often fail. But when I do I like homemade, wheat-free cookies which means baking. Something I will not be doing in the midst of this heat wave. I love veggies and hummus, especially the spicy variety of hummus. Sesame blue corn chips with homemade salsa are also always welcome though something I should definitely avoid.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire.

I’d take care of my parents and family and then I’d travel my ass off. I’d hire a personal trainer, and take her with me on these travels, since I am too damn unmotivated to exercise without one. I’d donate a pile of money to women’s shelters. While I love being abused myself, I make a very deliberate and mutually consensual choice do so. The thought of anyone living in fear for the lives of herself and her children is very disturbing to me.

Three of my bad habits.

1) Endless procrastination.

2) Eating too much and exercising too little.

3) Going to bed too late..

Five places I’ve lived.

When I was five years old, we moved to Florida for a year. All I recall of that year is living in fear of a giant, wild standard poodle (yes, I said POODLE, c’mon I was only five) and having to retrace our steps to figure out where my sister left her security blanket. I do believe it ended up being a bank and somehow my dad got the manager to open up after closing in order to retrieve it.

I lived in Toronto for a few months with a Jamaican drug dealer. I didn’t know that’s what he was when I moved in there. I was suspicious since he always was rolling in cash and never seemed to work, but he never told me and I was young and foolish and he was extremely hot. Ever a lover of accents and foreigners, hearing that Jamaican patois coming out of his mouth (he was blonde and brown eyed and white and one of the most handsome, forceful men I have ever laid eyes on) was pretty much all it took to convince me to stay longer than the two weeks I had originally planned.

New York. Various locations which I am afraid the whole semi-anonymous blogger thing makes impossible to reveal.

Five jobs I’ve had.

McDonalds was my first job. I became familiar with the issues of slave labor there and quit after only a few months. Then I graduated to the world of retail, working in a children’s clothing shop in one of the tonier Five Towns. Here I became convinced that having too much money makes people patently fucking insane. Quit that job and stayed in the same town to work at Elaine Powers as fitness instructor. I was actually in amazing shape but that was mostly due to youth. Their training consisted of reading a manual and designing a thirty minute calisthenics class. Mostly they wanted you to sell memberships. I learned more about exercise and fitness from my bodybuilder boyfriend than from my stint there. I started my career in accounting by working in a clothing factory owned by a friend of the family. I was damn good at it and somehow it stuck. After that all my jobs have been in the same dull accounting field. I was selling Mary Kay for five minutes. I did it mainly to meet women.

How did you name your blog.

Ah, this is an interesting question. A friend gave me a book, The Artist’s Way, about unlocking your creativity. One of the questions asked was what are five things you would be if you could be anything. Gypsy ranked right up there with pediatrician. Telling my friend, the professor about wanting to be a gypsy had him laughing out loud at me.

“You’d be a truly awful gypsy,” he said. “Real gypsies wear the same clothing till it falls off and traipsing through the forest in your stilettos might prove a nuisance.”

“Well, then I shall be an urban gypsy,” I replied.

And there you have it.

I'm not tagging anyone else, but here's what you can do if so inclined, pick one of the above questions and post your info in the comments. That could be fun.